Somehow the money was pulled over the last 6 months to be able to take this humble vacation. A change of scenery was indeed necessary. This is the place I fled to and lived for a month after my divorce with two small boys in tow. Beach Haven LBI NJ has always had an almost mystical power over me. I've been to quite a few beaches on the East Coast in my 43 years but this one never leaves me. It's the place I have envisioned when things get rough, when work (for lack of a better word) sucks, and when it all (meaning life) seems so completely un-doable. We all have our places we run to...LBI is mine.
When I divorced I sold my Mercedes - please don't laugh I know it sounds utterly ridiculous and opulent but reality smacks your ass real fast when you pull up to the Drew Mtn Road gas station with a bag of quarters for gas because you just put $6300 (that you didn't have) in repairs into the damn thing just to pass inspection. Shortly after I sold this $43k money pit for $15k cash. I cannot even fathom those numbers now. I can honestly say if I won the lottery tomorrow I would buy a used Jeep Cherokee with 4wd - the old boxy ones that run forever, have your back in a snow storm, serve as a camper (I am 4'11 remember), and as a moving truck when you see that dresser in someones trash that you can refurbish. Best car I ever owned. Thank you current admin for Cash for Clunkers that took so many of these off the road in an effort to keep the debt cycle rolling. Don't get me started. Anyway....
So I packed up and 'moved' into a friends cottage that summer. I will be forever grateful for the ability to do that for it gave me a reset button that has proved invaluable. This week I brought those two little boys (now young men) 15 & 17 back down here. To say I have been melancholy would be an understatement, because as all parents know you will forever see the little boys in the their now manly faces. They wanted to bring friends which somehow bummed me a bit because I wanted them all to myself, but then I looked back on the turn our life took all those years ago - from rich to broke, intact family to band of gypsies, reality instead of fairy tale - all in the name of creating noble good people without the bullshit of a strained war zone like relationship, and realized that it has been the good friends the three of us have made that has gotten us through most of it, that and a solid stoic family that we could turn to anytime day or night. Friends are the family you get to pick. And I have in turn watched these children talk their friends through difficulty using their experiences to reach the hand of kindness and understanding to one another. And I know from friends and family these two will grow up with character and steadfast grace to those that need support when times get tough - they intrinsically understand that 'giveback'
They have brought a couple of friends and embark on their own memories with mom taking a back seat this time. They are long-boarding all over this island, catching waves, walking on the beach under the moon and making memories that they will remember for a long, long time. Perhaps when they have a shit day at work they will remember the laughter that fluttered over the salty air. When life tosses them about they will know they can handle stormy waters. Maybe when it all gets too much they will know the sea keeps rolling and reaching and that the moon is never far, you only have to look for its peace to find it.
And in some strange way my reset button has become theirs and to that awareness I say Amen.
My hope for you is to find your reset
Namaste
