mo·men·tum
mōˈmen(t)əm,məˈmen(t)əm/
noun
- 1.PHYSICSthe quantity of motion of a moving body, measured as a product of its mass and velocity.
- 2.the impetus gained by a moving object."the vehicle gained momentum as the road dipped"
In my life it has been a constant effort, a consistent monitoring of thought to reel myself in from the efforts of worry. Many journals ago my time span became shorter. My vision from being a married secure woman went from 'Where we will be in 10, 20 years?' to Where am I right now? And are we OK right now in this moment? It has been an adjustment for someone who always had (at the very least) a 5 year plan...
I remember writing very late one evening as my thoughts were rolling like a freight train 'Focus on right now - this is all we have. Right now.' I was worried about when my children got older, when I would find work that paid enough, when I would find love, companionship, or at the very least a satisfying physical connection. I was trading the days peace for a future no one could guess. So I made it shorter; where did I want to be in a week, a month, and maybe a year. Time will always pass and I've found to fully be present in the moment is a gift and to work in the moment, toward what you believe a goal is, truly creates momentum.
The past few months I was without momentum, I was floating; drifting. I was planning when I should have been dreaming. My mind has always been my greatest gift - and without dreaming there can be no vision, and without vision there can be no planning and without planning there can be no realization.
If this seems like a contradiction - it is. Although I have goals, I am attempting to have them in the absence of worry. Worry will rob you like a thief that leaves no trace until you realize what was taken. Stress steals productive energy that could create the life you want, the world you need, the lover you desire. I have been training myself that I cannot know peace without stress and worry - but I must simply observe these things like a fire, yet feed them no fodder. For when fed they grow into terrible beasts.
Rumi once wrote 'Yesterday I was clever; I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, I want to change myself.' Like a garden that needs tilling so the weeds don't dominate, I find my mind needs pruning, weeding, watering - and consistent effort. And only then can I move forward.
Today I scrubbed my floor on my hands and knees because it needed it and that resulted in a clean floor, which resulted in clean wood cabinets, which resulted in a clean room ready for major changes. Such is the physical that leads to the mental in even exchange. I feel a great readying. Out with the old, in with the new.
I am ready. The mind is a constant effort and surpasses all of space and time, or perhaps it is all of space and time - perhaps there is no separation of such and that is the true enlightenment.
Balance to you
Namaste
